Raymond Mendoza

David Paek’s Eulogy by Raymond Mendoza

My name is Raymond Mendoza.
I am Eileen’s younger brother and David’s brother in law.
Some of what I say is on behalf of Eileen.

First of all, thanks to everyone who called, emailed or visited over the past weeks.
I told Eileen about each call and email and that was a big source of comfort.
You all have made a difference in making these difficult times easier.

I met David over a decade ago.
Eileen used to host group study sessions after school.
I did not know much about him at the time.
It was only until the group sessions became “David and Eileen” study sessions that I learned more about him.

He had an entrepreneurial spirit.
Real Estate and franchising BeaverTails intrigued him.
He loved his brothers dearly though it may have appeared as tough love.
He carried around albums of his nieces, Emma and Avery, to proclaim their beauty.
He loved the outdoors.
Camping, biking, fishing, hiking, driving, golf.
In 1995, a mountain bike accident broke both of his legs and threatened his life.

For the following years,
his life outdoors would slow down.
This gave us an opportunity to learn more about Dave.

Over the years of conversations with Dave,
there was one resonating theme:
“no regrets”.

David’s “no regrets” philosophy allowed him to dedicate himself to others.
While David focused on the well being of others,
he was very private.
He did not complain.
He did not want anyone to worry about him.
Because of this,
he can easily be taken for granted.

The easiest people to take for granted are your parents.
Parents always give.
As children, we get used to taking.

David understood that tomorrow is not promised today.
So, David was dedicated to give back to his parents.
Starting at the age of 7,
David translated English speaking bankers and lawyers to his Korean speaking parents.

For his entire life,
David gave back to his parents
because they gave him everything.

So when you look at David’s parents today,
don’t just see parents mourning the loss of a son.
Instead, see proud parents of a dedicated son
who was everything they hoped he could be.

When you look at David’s parents,
See joyful parents accepting a daughter and grandson into the family.

When I look at Eileen,
I see a sister who has looked out for me since the beginning.
I see a wife who spent more than a decade of quality time with her soulmate.
I see a mother who gave birth to a beautiful child
with her loyal and extremely supportive husband.
I also see a woman strong enough to get through anything.

When you see Eileen,
Comfort her.
Remind her of the good times,
And of the good times to come.

Remind her that when we see Brendan,
We see David in his face and Eileen in his smile.

When I look at Brendan,
I see hope.
I see innocence.
I see a child whose father did the little things
like buying milk in the middle of the night.
I see the key to unlock David’s mom’s wonderful cooking.
Although it is hard to see today,
I see in Brendan the joy life can bring.

For those of you that fear that david will not see Brendan grow up.
Fear not because David will be watching
Just from a different angle.

So Dave,
I love you brother.
I regret never saying that to you.
I’ll miss you.
I’ll miss the special friendship you shared with my wife.
I’ll miss experiencing fatherhood with you.
I’ll miss raising up our sons together.
And I’ll miss your simple gestures that made my sister infinitely happy.

We’ll all miss you.
We’ll all help raise Brendan and take care of Eileen in the way you wanted.
Our hearts are broken,
but our spirits are not.
You have inspired us to re-dedicate ourselves to others.
No regrets.