Raymond Mendoza

Updates from March, 2009 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

• 

  Raymond Mendoza 7:58 pm on March 25, 2009 Permalink | Reply  

  David Paek’s funeral 

  The past week and a half have been a time of stress, grief, and lack of sleep. For many of us, our lives will restart back to normal over the next few weeks. For a smaller group of us who had David in our everyday lives, we just have to pick up the pieces and take life step by step.

  David Young Min Paek, my brother in law, had his funeral today. It brought an ounce of closure to a tumultuous time where more tears were cried more than any other time in my family.

  For those unable to attend the viewing, it was very well attended. It started with a short Catholic service held by the priest who married Eileen and David. As usual, Father Peter provided a touching homily from his heart.

  There was also another Catholic service by the priest who overlooked Tito Nonong’s funeral. His passion was comforting that night.

  The night was capped by a Christian service which was translated from Korean to English. The minister delivered a powerful sermon which touched specifically on David’s life and how relative to other deaths, David’s was a blessed one.

  A slideshow of David played throughout the night that allowed attendees to see parts of David’s life they may not have known of.

  It was truly another sad night, but better than others because we were in the comfort of family and friends.

  The funeral today provided powerful and touching sermons and homilies from the Catholic and Christian priests just like the night before. The services were accented by a powerful singer, Emilio, who also sang at Melissa and Jason’s wedding. Emilio’s powerful and angelic voice filled the packed chapel.  His heartful rendidtions of “Our Father”, “Ave Maria”, and “I’ll raise you up” loosened many tears in the chapel. I wish to hear him sing again under better circumstances.

  Andrew Lee, David’s best man, and I followed the Christian service with our Eulogies. I wanted to make Dave proud so I tried my best to stay composed and keep it together.

  The “last respects” procession allowed all attendees to greet and console Eileen and David’s immediate family after they paid their last respects. It was one of the most difficult line ups to be in. I was last in line and I received a long and heartfelt hug from David’s dad.

  David’s childhood friends: Andrew, Calvin, and Ray Kwon along with David’s adulthood friends: Jason, Cliff, and I were the Paul bearers. Led by Toronto Police escort, we made our way to the burial site.

  Koreans have specific traditions about burial sites. They must be facing south and as high above water as possible.

  God held back the rain during the ceremony, but the overcast weather matched the mood. Tears are automatic at the burial ceremony especially when you place the flowers on the casket. The sounds of deep sobbing from David’s parents were unfortunately very familiar. As my dad said to Tito Arding a year earlier, I said “So long Kuya”.

  The sadness was numbed by the reception at Mandarin. The focus was shifted from mourning to food and friends and that was the appropriate way to finish the day.

  Photos from the funeral and slideshow can be found here.

  A sample of pictures are below.

  

  

  

  

  

  A year later, losing Dave still hurts, just in a different way « Raymond Mendoza, bartman905, and young and becky are discussing. Toggle Comments

   
  • 

    young and becky 11:37 pm on March 25, 2009 Permalink

    Hi Raymond

    I find it very comforting that I found this page. It has been a very difficult time for Becky and I, (as it is for all of us) especially when the kids are asking questions about their uncle David when we came home.
    I just want to let you know how proud my parents are to have a daughter in law like Eileen and to have a second family like yours. It was also our honour to spend the last remaining time of my brothers life with a special family like yours. I am very proud to say that Eileen is my sister in law and to say you,Dillon, Melissa, Jason and your parents are a part of our family. I just wish we could of spent more time together. My brother always spoke very highly of your family and now I know why.
    Our home is always open to your family and I certainly hope that you guys accept that invitation.
    I would like to thank you for all that you have done. I would like to thank your family for being with my brother. I would like to thank Eileen for being strong, caring, loving mother and wife that she is and will always be.
    If at any time there is anything we can do for you or your family please do not hesitate to call us. Eileen knows she can call us anytime.
    Our little girls birthdays are a pretty big celebration every year and I hope that you and your family can make it up this year and every year.
    Thanks again

    Young and Becky

  • 

    bartman905 11:42 pm on March 25, 2009 Permalink

    Thank you for sharing this on your blog, including your eulogy (and Andrew’s). It is a wonderful tribute to David and his memory – I am sure he will not be forgotten.

    We continue to keep David in our prayers as well as both the Paek and Mendoza families. God bless you.

  Reply Cancel reply

  Required fields are marked *

  Name *

  Email *

  Website

  

  Notify me of follow-up comments via email.

• 

  Raymond Mendoza 5:59 pm on March 25, 2009 Permalink | Reply  

  David Paek’s Eulogy by Raymond Mendoza 

  

  My name is Raymond Mendoza.
  I am Eileen’s younger brother and David’s brother in law.
  Some of what I say is on behalf of Eileen.

  First of all, thanks to everyone who called, emailed or visited over the past weeks.
  I told Eileen about each call and email and that was a big source of comfort.
  You all have made a difference in making these difficult times easier.

  I met David over a decade ago.
  Eileen used to host group study sessions after school.
  I did not know much about him at the time.
  It was only until the group sessions became “David and Eileen” study sessions that I learned more about him.

  He had an entrepreneurial spirit.
  Real Estate and franchising BeaverTails intrigued him.
  He loved his brothers dearly though it may have appeared as tough love.
  He carried around albums of his nieces, Emma and Avery, to proclaim their beauty.
  He loved the outdoors.
  Camping, biking, fishing, hiking, driving, golf.
  In 1995, a mountain bike accident broke both of his legs and threatened his life.

  For the following years,
  his life outdoors would slow down.
  This gave us an opportunity to learn more about Dave.

  Over the years of conversations with Dave,
  there was one resonating theme:
  “no regrets”.

  David’s “no regrets” philosophy allowed him to dedicate himself to others.
  While David focused on the well being of others,
  he was very private.
  He did not complain.
  He did not want anyone to worry about him.
  Because of this,
  he can easily be taken for granted.

  The easiest people to take for granted are your parents.
  Parents always give.
  As children, we get used to taking.

  David understood that tomorrow is not promised today.
  So, David was dedicated to give back to his parents.
  Starting at the age of 7,
  David translated English speaking bankers and lawyers to his Korean speaking parents.

  For his entire life,
  David gave back to his parents
  because they gave him everything.

  So when you look at David’s parents today,
  don’t just see parents mourning the loss of a son.
  Instead, see proud parents of a dedicated son
  who was everything they hoped he could be.

  When you look at David’s parents,
  See joyful parents accepting a daughter and grandson into the family.

  When I look at Eileen,
  I see a sister who has looked out for me since the beginning.
  I see a wife who spent more than a decade of quality time with her soulmate.
  I see a mother who gave birth to a beautiful child
  with her loyal and extremely supportive husband.
  I also see a woman strong enough to get through anything.

  When you see Eileen,
  Comfort her.
  Remind her of the good times,
  And of the good times to come.

  Remind her that when we see Brendan,
  We see David in his face and Eileen in his smile.

  When I look at Brendan,
  I see hope.
  I see innocence.
  I see a child whose father did the little things
  like buying milk in the middle of the night.
  I see the key to unlock David’s mom’s wonderful cooking.
  Although it is hard to see today,
  I see in Brendan the joy life can bring.

  For those of you that fear that david will not see Brendan grow up.
  Fear not because David will be watching
  Just from a different angle.

  So Dave,
  I love you brother.
  I regret never saying that to you.
  I’ll miss you.
  I’ll miss the special friendship you shared with my wife.
  I’ll miss experiencing fatherhood with you.
  I’ll miss raising up our sons together.
  And I’ll miss your simple gestures that made my sister infinitely happy.

  We’ll all miss you.
  We’ll all help raise Brendan and take care of Eileen in the way you wanted.
  Our hearts are broken,
  but our spirits are not.
  You have inspired us to re-dedicate ourselves to others.
  No regrets.

  A year later, losing Dave still hurts, just in a different way « Raymond Mendoza, and matt are discussing. Toggle Comments

   
  • 

    matt 6:05 pm on March 26, 2009 Permalink

    This blog’s great!! Thanks .

• 

  Raymond Mendoza 5:54 pm on March 25, 2009 Permalink | Reply  

  David Paek’s Eulogy by Andrew Lee 

  

  Hello, my name is Andrew Lee.

  I have been asked to speak a few words in memory of our friend, David Paek.

  We all know David in some form or another, a husband, a father, a son, and a friend.  The last is how I knew David the most, as a friend.

  1982 was when I first met David in Calgary, where we both played on our Church baseball team.  Since that time, we have grown together over the years, doing the usual things guys do, good and bad.

  I have been there to see him get his first car, finish school, get married and even start his own business.

  And David has been there for me, when my father passed away: David was there to consol me.

  When I was flying out to Korea to get married and got “cold feet”, he was the one that told me I would not regret it.

  In recent years, I know David enjoyed playing cards and golfing.  He was bad at both, unfortunately.

  These recent memories are the ones I like the most, because I know how much he enjoyed the time he spent with his friends.

  The one characteristic that I think we can all relate to David is this: as he walks up to you, he’ll do a head nod and say “hey man”.  What he really meant is that he was glad to see you.

  And this is how I most want to remember David, a simple head nod and a “hey man”.

  I look forward to the day when I can talk to Brendan, and tell him stories about his dad, about how much he cared for everyone and what a good person he was.
  Last Friday after I heard he was taken off of life support, I wrote this to David on his Facebook page:

  “If I could do it again, I would not change a thing.
  You are always welcome at my table, and you’ll always be part of my foursome.
  Goodbye my friend.”

  I feel it has been a Gift and Privilege to be asked to speak on behalf of David, thank you all very much.